hard times

[zooguy]

hey guys i want to start by saying this is a thread that is difficult for me to do ... but its about relationship stuff so if you dont want to hear me vent and be mopey have up days and down days please stop here

I end the relationship with my fiancee.
We had been together for 6 years 2 months to the day.
I could no longer fake being in love with her. I STILL LOVE HER, but i am no longer in love with her that is what made it so hard. For the last 4 years or so is have felt like some thing was wrong. i tried every thing in my power to hold it together and make the relationship work.

i proposed for the wrong reasons ... i felt it would make us closer and bring back the romance and intimacy that had fallen out of the relationship and that was the wrong reason to ask her to marry me. we began dating when i was 17 and on the 6th of this month i will be 24 years old. she was 20 and is now 26. during that time people are growing and learning who they are as an individual. We grew up and apart. i didnt want to accept it for a long time but it was not ment to be. it was my will to stay together not Gods and in life his will is always going to come over mine.

i have felt sick the last few days and have not been posting/active on the sight as much as i am usually.

Today i felt like posting this here cause i am having a very very hard day and missing her a bunch. what i miss the most is her hugs, . when she was actually around and i need a hug it would take me out of this world to a place where there was not any stress of money, jobs, cars, life, time just froze in place and her embrace let me know i can make it

[Chris]

Huh?

Sent from my Galaxy IIIs via Tapatalk

[HAND HERPES]

I think he forgot to type the rest?

[McCauleyWB]

Man that's tough. I'm sorry to hear it. As hard as it feels now, it seems like you put a lot of thought in to it and made a decision that will benefit both of you in the long run. Things will get better.

I went through a nearly identical situation. Met my high school sweetheart on a blind date and we were together for 7 years before things got difficult and I called it quits. A clean break was the only way I got through it and I ended up in a much better place. Had things not gone the way they did, I would have never met my soon to be lady.

[zooguy]

EVERYthing reminds of her ... the shifter ball in my car she got me as a birthday gift. my nitrous bottle (the first one with custom painjob) she got me ... hell she even loaned me some money so i could get my Forumla. all the t-shirts i have from her sorority house

all kinds of shit i have reminds me of her.

[LT1RUNNER]

Then maybe you do really love her and want to be with her after all. As the old saying goes the grass always looks greener on the other side. Idk. I'm just saying but since I don't know the whole story its hard to say. What ever happends keep your head up and don't let no one get you down. Good luck my friend.

[Mystery Bird]

If you feel it's God's will then he will provide you the strength to get through this and not be codependent on her but him.

[CamaroGirl]

Troy I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I just ended things with my bf/fiancee back in october and we were together 5 years. I was with him throughout my 20s. I'm 27 now...So much of my 'growing up' was done while with him. Looking back, our relationship was always rocky. I saw my first 'red flag' a couple months into it. I should have left then but didn't. Eventually it got to this, and in the end I feel I made the right decision for myself.
Now I just did my first figure competition in October, something I've been training for, for 13 months. He didn't like the way my body was changing, I gained lean mass, I looked like I had some muscle, and in lean down, with my 5 am wake up calls every day, the hours I spent in the gym, and the nutrition program I had to stick to, he found it to be too much and gave me grief because of it. I went on my yearly road trip back home to Creston and did a ton of thinking. I came to the conclusion, that competing was always going to be a part of my life, and I can't be with someone who doesn't support me.
I found myself during my training months. One of the things I learned, was that only YOU hold the key to your happiness. Life is too short to cheat yourself out of TRUE love and happiness. Of course, you need to be happy on your own before you can be happy with anyone else...

Bottom line is, damn right its hard to start over. Everywhere you turn theres a reminder, well duh, they've been such a huge part of your life for X amount of years, there's gonna be those things they do/say or things you have that will be missed. The great thing about all of this is, you get to start new!!! You get to determine who you want to be with and what you REALLY want in a partner!!

I'm gonna leave you with this quote, as it was the defining one that made me move forward.
"Some people settle, some people settle down, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies"

You can do this Troy
Time is a tricky fucker, but it always heals

[Blackbird96WS6]

Be proud in the fact that you were man enough to admit to yourself and to her that it isn't working out like you had hoped. Like you said, you both grew up and gradually grew apart. That's the unfortunate thing about relationships when you're still young. As both parties continue to grow and become who they want to be, they may or may not grow apart and the relationship may end up decaying. Take it from me, since I'm only about 5 months older than you and you met me and my wife at Tony's house, even after getting married, if you have any doubts whatsoever in your mind, it's only going to eat at you more and more after you've tied the knot. It hurts now, but you're probably going to be better off in the end for staying strong and getting through this. 24 is still plenty young and you have years ahead of you to worry about settling down. There are days I miss being single and having more freedoms than I have now in marriage. Look at the bright side and consider it an opportunity to continue to expand on yourself and see where life takes you. Keep your head up and roll with the punches man, brighter days are always around the corner.

[zooguy]

thanks guys(and gals brenda)

she will always have a bit of my heart ... there were several "firsts" is you know what i mean, that we did ... and i still love her. i know now that i am not in love with her and those are two very different things

[Blackbird96WS6]

i still love her. i know now that i am not in love with her and those are two very different things

Exactly, you can still love someone and care for their well-being without being in love with them. She more than likely feels the same way about you, since it sounds like you two are not ending on bad terms. Just don't let yourself confuse the two and you'll get through it fine.

[HAND HERPES]

If you miss her, then your still attached...? Idk, maybe one door is closing and a better one is opening.

[Madman337]

If you miss her, then your still attached...? Idk, maybe one door is closing and a better one is opening.

Have to agree with this ^^^ I went thru the very same thing with the 1st wife (I am on the 2nd) after 17 years and I am the one who just couldnt do it anymore and she is now 43 and I met her when she turned 18.
I got lucky and met the current wife who I knew WAY back when I was just 17 and I am 45 now and we have been thru some rough moments with me leaving for several months ect.
I still miss the 1st one sometimes but she had changed so much that for me it was as if she passed away because the woman that I married was not the same one I divorced.
The door that opened for me was a much better one then the one that closed. I wish you luck and hope you find your door too.

[zooguy]

the break up was hard ... it went as good as it could i guess. there were tears ...
as far as the "If you miss her, then your still attached..." i am not attached ... more detached ... and i am going to miss her till i get completely over her. we dated 6 years ... show me some one who would miss her after 6 years (cheaters and nasty break ups dont count)

[GreenZ96]

I've been there too, my wife and I dated for about 2 years before we went our ways. We kept in touch for about a year and a half before things sparked up again. We then dated for close to a year before we engaged. Been married for 3 years now and couldn't ask for a better wife. Some time apart may be just what you two need. You still have a lot to learn about life, love, hardships etc.

Sent from my ADR6400L using Tapatalk 2

[firebird_1995]

Lot of REALLY good advice in here man. Sorry to hear your in a bad place now but you will pull out of it. I think this sums it up best....



If you feel it's God's will then he will provide you the strength to get through this and not be codependent on her but him.

[JPack]

It will slowly turn around for you man. It will be hard for awhile but there is no reason it shouldnt be hard. You devoted all those years. To think it will just be ok the day after would be wrong. She became something that was part of your life each day. Its like one day you are walking, then you break your leg. At that point it changes everything. Next thing you know months go by and you heal. Then that cast comes off and you have to learn to walk all over again. As they say time heals all wounds. It is better now than getting married, going through the motions, start a family and then feel you can't be married anymore and then the damage is done. Stay strong man. It may be hard for awhile but one day soon you will remember how to walk again.

[zooguy]

this whole thing is like waves ... i will have a really hard few hours then i get distracted by something and it takes my mind off of it. then once i get a few moments if idle thought it all comes back and ... i get sad and sick feeling ... like i am going to vomit.

[Blackbird96WS6]

The best thing you can do right now is try to keep yourself busy/distracted with other things for a while until this settles in a bit more. But eventually you are going to have to face your feelings to truly get over her. Just don't do it until you're ready, man. Stay positive.

[Bersaglieri]

I ended a 5 year one about 11 months ago, but it was over 2-2.5 years before that big break up. Had I done it earlier I would have saved myself greif, frustration, pain, and suffering. Life's too short to waste time being with someone who isn't for you. Sometimes it's hard to figure that out, but it's worth it when you do because you give yourself the opportunity to find someone who is perfect for you. Don't do what I did and keep perpetuating the insanity. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Embrace that opportunity, seize it, and make it work for you, you're life, and your happiness.

[popo8]

I do my best to never get involved with relationship advice...

But...


Ill sidestep it by saying this....and I think this goes for many things in life... STAND BY YOUR DECISION, YOU OBVIOUSLY MADE IT FOR A REASON.

On a similar note.... O once heard a statement that read..... "it takes twice as long as u were with someone to 100% get over that person..." idk how true it is.... But figd id share...


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[Blackbird96WS6]

I do my best to never get involved with relationship advice...

But...


Ill sidestep it by saying this....and I think this goes for many things in life... STAND BY YOUR DECISION, YOU OBVIOUSLY MADE IT FOR A REASON.

On a similar note.... O once heard a statement that read..... "it takes twice as long as u were with someone to 100% get over that person..." idk how true it is.... But figd id share...


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

You know, that sounds about right. Took me what seemed like forever to finally get over my high school sweetheart after 4 yrs of off and on. I was single for a good 2 yrs. afterward before I even thought about trying to start a new relationship lol.

[zooguy]

today has been better ... i did manage to eat today for the first time in like 4 days (all i had was water) ...

i also got the bird parked in the barn and its time to start building a forged bottom end for nitrous it looks like a 355 is going to be the way i got cause if anything happens then i can go bigger with the same block later on. step one ... buy an engine stand.


but i have found that evening/night time can be harder for me for some reason.
the last few days i get on facebook and chat with friends late into the night.

[meissen]

I think it definitely gets easier with time. I'll admit the first "serious relationship" I was in with this one chick we had a real passionate relationship - we either passionately loved each other or we were passionately arguing with eachother. She was real whacko - even tried getting me to believe she had multiple personality disorder. She had sued her parents to gain legal independence because her parents were abusive and she was really going through some rough times which affected our relationship as well. For some reason I always stuck with her and tried to make it work until eventually we broke it off for good when she got into another relationship. She eventually married the guy she was with, I found other girls and eventually found the right one to marry. We were only together for 2 years and it's been about a decade since we broke it off but I still dream about her at least once a month to be honest. But I guess it also doesn't help that now that both of us settled down and are both married (and she's not psycho anymore) we are actually friends on Facebook and chat regularly. :lol:

[zooguy]

its been a good all day and now in the evening i begin to get emotional .... i really with this would stop. its very painful

[firebird_1995]

The evenings are usually the worst. Gonna have to find a way to keep your mind occupied. Call of duty??

[zooguy]

... i dont have a Xbox

[popo8]

Read.... Watch a movie...work on the car...or buy an xbox....either way keep urself occupied.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[bsgreenz]

I will send you a xbox 360 for free all you need is a power cable to help man.

If you want it send me a PM.

I know how this shit goes and keeping your mind of it is what helps the most.

[firebird_1995]

I got a spare power cable. Does he need both pieces or just the outlet side?

[popo8]

I will send you a xbox 360 for free all you need is a power cable to help man.

If you want it send me a PM.

I know how this shit goes and keeping your mind of it is what helps the most.


I got a spare power cable. Does he need both pieces or just the outlet side?


WOW!!!!


Holy Shyt guys, that is soooooooooooooooooooooo Awesome!

[CamaroZGuy]

I will send you a xbox 360 for free all you need is a power cable to help man.

If you want it send me a PM.

I know how this shit goes and keeping your mind of it is what helps the most.


I got a spare power cable. Does he need both pieces or just the outlet side?


and this is why we have the best community around!

[casey20000007]

I agree what a good family we have here :) I have a ps2 if anyone needs one lol I'm stuck back in 2002 lmao I'm old school


SMOKE TIRES NOT DRUGS

[zooguy]

um ... wow ... i dont know how to respond i knew a few people would say "its okay, it will get better soon" or "here is my number call me if you need me" type stuff

but i never expected in a 1000 years that type of generosity would be shared with me? ... i really feel like yall are a part of my family. i know it dosent really compare but ​Thank you.

[biggriff]

i dont know YOUR situation, but i do agree you made this decision for a reason...people dont like to be alone, God created adam and eve for a reason...companionship....i will share my personal story (which i normally dont do) i was in a relationship from high school for 4 years and realized it was a dead end....i left and like you was lonely , so i went back after a few months...later to be married and it lasted for 7 years and then....done...looking back i wished i had people like the LTX community to share with me at that time...i dont regret anything for God has walked with me the entire way and i have come to know Him better....so iF you made this decision, its probably the best thing to experience short term pain for the long term gain...hope it all get better bro...bury yourself in that build...

[Badbird_96]

um ... wow ... i dont know how to respond i knew a few people would say "its okay, it will get better soon" or "here is my number call me if you need me" type stuff

but i never expected in a 1000 years that type of generosity would be shared with me? ... i really feel like yall are a part of my family. i know it dosent really compare but ​Thank you.

And that friends is what makes ltxtech a much better site than any other. I will have the wife look and see if I have anything left over from my 360. I sold it and most everything a couple months ago but I think I have some small pieces left.

[bsgreenz]

He will need both parts for the power cable and a controller but it works, i spent a couple houndred on my other one to have it modid with a clear black case, better fans and a chevy bow-tie lead light so i don't need this one.

[popo8]

He will need both parts for the power cable and a controller but it works, i spent a couple houndred on my other one to have it modid with a clear black case, better fans and a chevy bow-tie lead light so i don't need this one.

U can customize gaming systems???


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[bsgreenz]

I can't but a know a couple people that can, one is on this site..

[Bersaglieri]

U can customize gaming systems???


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

LTXtech gamer swag?


That's pretty phookin awesome, if I had a 360 I'd game it up with you guys, but I've got a PS3.

Great group of people on here.

[bsgreenz]

I have a PS3 and am on Black Ops 2 most nights and on weekends to relax, with a glass of captian and coke lol

[popo8]

... glass of captian and coke lol


^^^YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

[zooguy]

wow guys i am still shocked at the offers yall have given me ... i do have one small request on anything you chose to give ...

please sign what ever you send with you LTX screen name ... if you want to put a message that is fine ... but please sign is so i will be reminded every time i see it.

to all that have posted in this thread so far ... (and future too) i have read this OVER AND OVER many times each day and you words of encouragement help me more than you realize. i keep the page open most of the night till go to work then i check it at work as often as i can (i work overnights 10pm -6am) and yall words help me make it through my shift and keep me together. thanks and i know this will be a long process to come but i will make it through.

this morning (when i sleep) i actually fell asleep for the first time in a about 3 days. and i had a dream about kimberly (my ex). i woke up and cried for a while but i feel better now that i have started my day and kept busy.

[zooguy]

on a side note tomorrow is my birthday and i will be 24 years old.

[popo8]

...

please sign what ever you send with you LTX screen name ... if you want to put a message that is fine ... but please sign is so i will be reminded every time i see it.

:beer:

[gojo83]

ygpm i shot u my # i work graves too so feel free to hit me up. i also told u my story but i will say this also on here...God works in mysterious ways. hope things turn around it is a long road but it will get u where u need to get

[zooguy]

thank you

[Blackbird96WS6]

on a side note tomorrow is my birthday and i will be 24 years old.

Happy birthday man! Go hog wild and do something fun, make it one to remember and take your mind off everything!

[Badbird_96]

Happy birthday man! Go hog wild and do something fun, make it one to remember and take your mind off everything!

X2

[popo8]

Happy Birthday Troy


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[Tbird232ci]

We all go through this at some point in time. In a way, it's kinda funny when you look back on it. At the time, man, it feels like your world has collapsed, then your life will never be worth a damn, and that you can go one. You'll feel like you'll never sleep, never eat, never deal with women, never be able to go to certain places, hear certain music, wear certain clothes, talk to certain people; any of that crap. Once you get past the peak of the pain, each day starts feeling like a new beginning. You really start to appreciate all of the little bits of progress you make, the independence you have, the friends you have and the friends you make, the new experiences, and really, you start to appreciate yourself more. You learn that you don't need someone else to make your life complete, but that you only need yourself. You'll look back, and realize that this pain was worth it in the grand scheme of things.

I went through a bad break up a handful of years back, and I made a lot of changes. For one, because I was so upset, I started doing push ups. Some people do dumb crap like cut themselves, or drink or other stuff to feel or not feel pain, and I couldn't do it. The pain of doing a few hundred (not exaggerating) push ups took out some emotional pain, and replaced it with physical pain, and exhaustion. More times than not, physical is easier to cope with, and exhaustion makes it much easier to sleep through the night. Once you start seeing the improvements of your depression induced work out plan, you start to feel a bit better about yourself too.

A big thing for me was forward progress. The shop I used to work for had recently landed a customer with a bit over 300 car haulers. Only 4 of us in the shop were trained to work on them. Because of the relationship, I never really wanted to work overtime. Once the break up happened, I worked 10-12 hours of overtime a week. Being away from home, having my mind focused on work, and being around people that weren't really involved in my personal life kept me sane. At the end of the week, the fat paycheck, and the bank account growing helped ease my mind too. The #1 cause of stress is money, and when it's not a big deal anymore, it's one less thing to have on your mind.

Change your scenery a bit. I was living with my parents at the time of the break up, so first thing was first, I cleaned my room. Man, it was more of an overhaul than a cleaning. I threw of tons of junk, organized, cleaned, scrubbed, rearranged, fixed and pretty much left nothing untouched. After than, I ended up moving out, getting my own apartment, and living on my own. When you change up your surroundings, you don't feel like you're in a rut. You stop waking up seeing what you always saw, just missing someone. You end up waking up to see your home. Put up pictures you want, display your old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures you had since you were a kid, hang up some car parts on the walls, set up a fish tank; do whatever you want. The independence is refreshing.

Finish up some projects, or get rid of projects. In my case, I had too many cars. I had an 87 Thunderbird that I was doing a massive build on, that was pretty much stalled. I stripped it down, and scrapped the body. After that, my idiot ass picked up an 88 Thunderbird Turbo Coupe that was going to need a lot of assembly, to then find out the frame fails were rusted out. I just got rid of my old 85 Shelby Charger, and had my Trans Am for a bit. I realized that I was completely in over my head, and the things I loved (my cars), were holding me back. I sold off the Turbo Coupe for 200 bucks. I sold off about 85% of the parts for the Thunderbirds. I had 5 of them, so I had a massive parts stash. I went from having 3-4 cars, and mounds of parts, down to having just my Trans Am. It was a major relief to not have to struggle trying to finish up all of these projects that were just beyond my budget and time frame. The money that I got from the parts sales aided me in moving out and living on my own, which made the wasted time on the projects feel less like a waste, and more like a savings account. Just get rid of some of the projects, thin out the to-do list, and lift some burden off of your shoulders.

The biggest thing is to surround yourself with people who you would honestly like to be like. I used to hand out with a rag-tag group of friends, who were all in their mid 20's, and were going nowhere in life. They all lived at home, they all had 4-5 project cars, no education, no ambition, and no desire to get anywhere in life. These guys were perfectly fine spending their money on their cars and living at home. It's been about 3 years since I've talked to these guys, and not a single one of them made forward progress. One dude moved out of his parents house, into another dudes parents house. They all have the same cars, same jobs, and are in the same situations that they were in before I went my separate way. I started hanging out with some of my friends I've known a lot longer. These friends have houses, families, careers and then their toys. When you get around people that are where you want to be in life, you start to strive for it. You start realizing that you've just been working sideways, and being around people with the type of life you want almost show you the template or building blocks for how to get there. You really are only as good as the people you surround yourself with.

As much as it may suck, now is the time to change direction, and make EVERYTHING not suck. Things that didn't like before the relationship, things during, and things after are now in your control. Take advantage of the opportunity and turn things around.

I apologize for the essay :)

[Tbird232ci]

And happy birthday, by the way!

[zooguy]

your right ...

[zooguy]

as i have said before thanks for all the support yall have gave me over the last few days. well today was my birthday and i work on my little DD car getting the old wheel bearings for the front out. i dont have a press so that was fun but tomorrow i am getting them pressed in by a shop so its done right


i have to go to work tonight and i kinda have a feeling its going to be a hard night being my birthday today, but i will be reading this thread over and over to remind me to keep my head up.

[popo8]

Stay focused at work...keep busy.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[LT1RUNNER]

As the old saying goes "if you fall off the horse you get back on" and that's what I did and just 2 weeks later I met my beautiful wife and I've been happy ever since. My mother used to always say your best revenge is happiness. Live your life how you want an nothing will ever get hold you down. You are going to be just fine with your family, close friends and us here on your side.

[firebird_1995]

Power supply coming your way. The extra controller I thought I had was a wireless for the old school Xbox. So you'll still need a 360 controller. Happy birthday

[Tbird232ci]

As the old saying goes "if you fall off the horse you get back on" and that's what I did and just 2 weeks later I met my beautiful wife and I've been happy ever since. My mother used to always say your best revenge is happiness. Live your life how you want an nothing will ever get hold you down. You are going to be just fine with your family, close friends and us here on your side.

While this is absolutely true, I try to not live by this. Need to know you're happiness is for the right reasons, and not to get revenge.

[bsgreenz]

xbox 360 is ready to head your way man, hope to get it out tomorrow.

[popo8]

How are u doing Troy?


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[zooguy]

some updates for those that don't know ... a lady at work gave me a 2002 Saturn SL1 ... it was stuck in security mode and it needed to have wheel bearings replaced ... I got the car running and on the road ... and yesterday I went to see some friends that I have not seen for quite some time. 1 of them is a girl from high school and she let me stay the night at her place. she is a very physical person in that she really likes giving hugs and touching you while you're together ... not in a dirty way but she likes to sit very close and lean on you or maybe put her arm around you. anyways when it was time to go to sleep she asked me where I wanted to stay I replied that I did not mind ... Wound up sleeping in her bed ... so did she ... and we cuddled for the most of the night. there was not any inappropriate touching she trusts me and I trust her. anyways I've never slept in a waterbed before. that was 1 of the best nights of sleep I've ever had. nothing happened between her and I we are strictly just friends. but I'm starting to feel better now that I'm spending time with my friends. they're still are times are really tough mostly in the evening ... but I can see the beginning of starting to get back to normal.

I want to thank each and everyone of you for your support during my difficult time it really means a lot to me.

[Blackbird96WS6]

That's awesome man, nothing beats spending time with friends when you're in a slump. And waterbeds are great right up until you kick the frame in your sleep and wake up yelling :jest:

[ZGOBYBY]

This is the story of young love. A very close friend of mine, who is in his forties now, is on the opposite end of this situation. When I see where he is at now, it scars me, and makes me glad that I didn't fall in love young (or what he thought was love at the time... LOL). I think that your first love, especially when it starts out in your teens, is endearing. Yet I think that people need to realize that these relationships tend to not work out. How often does it work out that the first thing you come to is the right one?

I am not trying to turn this into a negative light towards "first love" or "young love," but I think that those who remain in these relationships are blinded by infatuation, and later realize that what they are feeling is not truely love. And how many people do we all know that remain in the relationship for YEARS because of extenuating circumstances (kids, finances, etc). I have learned through a couple of relationships. I think the best life lesson I have learned is one needs to be on their own for a while to truely determine what they want in life. You have to determine what you ultimately want out of life, and what you are willing to take from someone, and what you want that someone to be.

I will be 27 in a few months, and I am thankful that I waited, and stayed single for a while... I make sure that I get what I want out of my life. And I know this sounded completely corny, but... "you have to love yourself completely before you can love someone else." And Brenda is right, you do hold the key to your happiness. You can only change yourself, and make decisions for yourself. You cannot make the relationship, but you can choose who you want to be in one with.

[zooguy]

the last 2 days i have done a bunch of DEEP thinking about what happens next.
i have been out of the loop so long as a single guy ... i dont know what to do.

do i keep riding solo for a while or start going on dates.

if i start dating where do i meet girls now that i am out of college?

[popo8]

the last 2 days i have done a bunch of DEEP thinking about what happens next.
i have been out of the loop so long as a single guy ... i dont know what to do.

do i keep riding solo for a while or start going on dates.

if i start dating where do i meet girls now that i am out of college?

U make friends with other singles...and enjoy life. ive always been a believer of...DONT GO SEARCHING FOR IT...LET IT HAPPEN.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[spikester7878]

U make friends with other singles...and enjoy life. ive always been a believer of...DONT GO SEARCHING FOR IT...LET IT HAPPEN.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com



Very very well said. I recently got out of a four year relationship I at first wanted to just fill the gap but after some serious thinking I decided that this was the best route. After a serious relationship everyone needs some down time to really sort things out. as you said "ride solo" for a bit but just enjoy it. You are the only one who will really be able to tell when you are ready to date again its not like there is some kind of set in stone time line for recovering from relationships. I have been single for about 2 months now and I am just now feeling confident enough that any feelings I could have for a girl are for the girl alone and not me misplacing what I once had for my ex and just needing to fill that hole that was left.

[Ashley]

'all the single ladies, put your hands up!"


lol.

[Blackbird96WS6]

U make friends with other singles...and enjoy life. ive always been a believer of...DONT GO SEARCHING FOR IT...LET IT HAPPEN.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

Listen to this man ^ he knows what he's talking about. Don't feel like you should be rushing to get into another relationship. Just live day by day and whatever happens happens. Much less stressful and more enjoyable that way.

[zooguy]

'all the single ladies, put your hands up!"


lol.


this made me laugh and smile

[meissen]

On a lighter note - think about how much money you can save now that you're single... :lol: (or at least - spend on whatever YOU want)

[zooguy]

i know ... i just dropped $2000 dollars on her engagement ring .... i didnt get it back ... but what ever i am not making a big deal of it. whats done is done and time to move on.

on a lighter not as said above ... watch this ...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mspZcwrWkM0

thank you for your support guys and gals
special thanks to firebird_1995 (http://ltxtech.com/forums/member.php?4287-firebird_1995) for the block

[popo8]

You should get it back.

Unless given on a holiday as the holiday gift, and engagement ring should be returned to the one who provided it.

[zooguy]

we will see

[Ashley]

well, better start saving for the shootout now!!!! that way you can make it! lol.

[popo8]

we will see

see what?

What are you gonna wait for?

[Badbird_96]

Agreed shootout this year man.

[popo8]

well, better start saving for the shootout now!!!! that way you can make it! lol.


Agreed shootout this year man.


+1

[CamaroGirl]

You should get it back.

Unless given on a holiday as the holiday gift, and engagement ring should be returned to the one who provided it.
Yup. I gave mine back.

[zooguy]

i told her the night i broke up with her i gave it to her and she can do what she wants with it.

i really do want it back ... but how do i ask for it back now?

[popo8]

WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT, if you want it back man.

MAN up and say what you mean, and not what you think sounds sensitive.


i told her the night i broke up with her i gave it to her and she can do what she wants with it.

i really do want it back ... but how do i ask for it back now?

[zooguy]

i just wanted a clean break at the time with as little drama as possible.

[Silver Bullet]

i kinda no how you feel.

I was scared to even love someone through highschool man, but when i got to college i found someone..... loved her with all my heart....... we dated for 8 months and then one day she was laying in my lap we were all happy enjoy our moment........... then a few hours later it was done........ I still love her and love her more and more everyday.......... i feel like an empty shell............ i was happy and thought she was to but idk.............. im just trying to hang in there and have my hope..............but not a thread jack

as far as what happened with you. I think you did the right thing i think that we want the other to be happy as well as ourselves. but if we cannot than we should not just keep leading one on giving them lies and false happiness.

[meissen]

You should get it back.

Unless given on a holiday as the holiday gift, and engagement ring should be returned to the one who provided it.

As long as she can't prove it was given to her as a gift, as far as I know you can actually take her to court over it.

[CamaroGirl]

i told her the night i broke up with her i gave it to her and she can do what she wants with it.

i really do want it back ... but how do i ask for it back now?
Simple. Just ask. If shes resistant, ask her what she needs it for. Chances are shes gonna pawn it. Why should she get the money? Also: did you have it sized for her or bought it and it was already sized? Because if it's still in the condition you bought it in you can return it and get all your $$ back. Or just exchange it and custom order one of those fine LTX rings :)

[popo8]

As long as she can't prove it was given to her as a gift, as far as I know you can actually take her to court over it.

Correct!!!


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[Ashley]

man, I didn't know you could do that over some rings. lol.
I know a woman who has BOTH sets of her rings from previous marriages cause the men said they had no use for them. cause if they were marrying again, why would they want that same ring for someone else.. I know one of the guys personally and he said.. "new woman, new ring." lol.

[popo8]

New woman...new ring...same money.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[Ashley]

New woman...new ring...same money.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

same problem, too.. in his and her case. lol.

[zooguy]

so today i did some flirting today ... not the casual kinda flirting ... but yeah ... it was fun ... i kinda forgot how to do that and yeah i was a bit rusty but it was fun ... almost like a game were playing ... i need to learn how to be single again

[popo8]

so today i did some flirting today ... not the casual kinda flirting ... but yeah ... it was fun ... i kinda forgot how to do that and yeah i was a bit rusty but it was fun ... almost like a game were playing ... i need to learn how to be single again

Ill say it again.... Find some male friends...go out...enhoy life and let it happen


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[ZGOBYBY]

Don't jump into anything real quick! Come to the Shootout this year, and enjoy being single!

[zooguy]

is that a good place to pick up chicks?

[Blackbird96WS6]

http://www.reactionface.info/sites/default/files/imagecache/Node_Page/images/1314029819767.png

[zooguy]

hahahaha i needed a great laugh .... thanks blackbird

[Blackbird96WS6]

You're welcome :)

[CamaroGirl]

so today i did some flirting today ... not the casual kinda flirting ... but yeah ... it was fun ... i kinda forgot how to do that and yeah i was a bit rusty but it was fun ... almost like a game were playing ... i need to learn how to be single again
Yea eh,
here's some words for you to remember:
technically it's not a game, I mean the dating scene and whatnot kind of is, but when you find someone thats RIGHT, there's no "does she like me/doesn't she" there should be no guessing at any point in time. It should be effortless and cut and dry. We women think men are SO difficult, and as it turns out, you men are quite simple creatures. Same can be said about us...somewhat. Women love affection even when they say they don't. I dunno, we're fucked that way. Don't ask me why, it just is the way it is.
That being said, go have fun with your bad self. Keep the beard trimmed though :)




Ill say it again.... Find some male friends...go out...enhoy life and let it happen


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com
BASICALLY!

[Ashley]

......We women think men are SO difficult, and as it turns out, you men are quite simple creatures. Same can be said about us...somewhat. Women love affection even when they say they don't. I dunno, we're fucked that way. Don't ask me why, it just is the way it is.....


this. lol.

[Blackbird96WS6]

We women think men are SO difficult, and as it turns out, you men are quite simple creatures. Same can be said about us...somewhat. Women love affection even when they say they don't. I dunno, we're fucked that way. Don't ask me why, it just is the way it is.

Damn, I wish someone would have told my wife this prior to this past year LOL. It took her nearly a year of being married to figure out I pretty much do and say everything at face value. The over-analyzing thing gets on my nerves..

[CamaroGirl]

Damn, I wish someone would have told my wife this prior to this past year LOL. It took her nearly a year of being married to figure out I pretty much do and say everything at face value. The over-analyzing thing gets on my nerves..
Yup. I read the book "He's just not that into you" after my first devastating break up just after I graduated. I found it to be quite empowering and brought a lot of things to light. Cut and dry my friend, cut and dry.

[Badbird_96]

Damn, I wish someone would have told my wife this prior to this past year LOL. It took her nearly a year of being married to figure out I pretty much do and say everything at face value. The over-analyzing thing gets on my nerves..

Omg I agree on this 110%. When I say something, what I really mean is exactly what I said. I don't mean anything but what the words I put together in a sentence meant. It drives me insane...

[zooguy]

so i called her today, i had something come up at work where i am "in trouble" and its unlikley but i could lose my job over. i called to see if she know any thing about it and she is helping me and asking around cause i have a fucked up memory. i did ask her what she was planning on doing with the ring and that i wanted it back. she said that she loves the ring and it very pretty and that she picked it out. i did tell her that i dont want too but because it was not given to her "as a gift" like on christmas, that i am well with in my rights to take her to small claims court and get the ring back. she doesnt think i can. now i am not going to stoop that low and do that. it sounds like she really is attached to the ring. so i am not going to pressure her ... i dont want to make this harder than it is on her or me.

[CamaroGirl]

so i called her today, i had something come up at work where i am "in trouble" and its unlikley but i could lose my job over. i called to see if she know any thing about it and she is helping me and asking around cause i have a fucked up memory. i did ask her what she was planning on doing with the ring and that i wanted it back. she said that she loves the ring and it very pretty and that she picked it out. i did tell her that i dont want too but because it was not given to her "as a gift" like on christmas, that i am well with in my rights to take her to small claims court and get the ring back. she doesnt think i can. now i am not going to stoop that low and do that. it sounds like she really is attached to the ring. so i am not going to pressure her ... i dont want to make this harder than it is on her or me.
Dude...sorry to say but it's not like she's gonna be wearing the ring around town showing people and being all like, "no I'm not married, I just like to wear this". Bull shit on that. I know that unless I actually WAS married/engaged/whatever, I wouldn't wear it at all. Regardless if I picked it out and LOVED it. What it stands for, what it MEANS, WHO got it for me...THAT would be all I could think of if I ever were to wear it. GET IT BACK. Get a FREE consult with a lawyer if you must. There is NO reason she should keep it unless as stated before, that is was given as a gift. You shouldn't have to get lawyers involved, but if thats what is necessary then do it. Just curious, how much was the ring? Hope it's worth it..

[Blackbird96WS6]

Yeah, I have to agree with CamaroGirl here, there's no good reason she needs to keep the ring. She's either going to store it away and never touch it again or she's going to sell it for the cash that is rightfully yours. If she does actually go around wearing it just because she likes it, then uh.. she's definitely an oddball. That'd be pretty a cold-hearted thing to do since, as Brenda said, it carries a sentimental value to it which she'd be completely ignoring to wear it around like that. You can't keep asking her nicely and pussy-footing around for it and expect to get anywhere. Ever heard "nice guys finish last?" It's because if you want something done right, sometimes you just gotta be an asshole and do it. Don't get screwed over cuz you wanna "be nice" to her, she already made the choice to walk out of your life. Take what's yours and don't take no for an answer, then worry about whether or not you'll stay in contact with her. You'll only grow to resent her if you don't get the ring back, whether she keeps talking to you or not.

[zooguy]

the ring was $2000 so its not like a mega huge amount. but it would be a nice chunk of change to pay off some debit from student loans

[Ashley]

I hate to be a negative Nancy. and where I AGREE you want the ring back, you shouldn't have let her go with it. I personally feel if Jesse and I were to divorce... the ring was/is mine. because he bought it for ME. not unless he was going to give it back to the store. where if it was resized etc by another store he couldnt take it back to the original store. cause yeah, if she's wearing it around that's awkward... what would be more awkward if Jesse were to give my rings to another woman. and personally it'd be funny. I know popo said same money above in an earlier post... but honestly. if I were to get remarried I wouldn't want his exs ring and the same with another woman. I think the ring holds alot of sentimental value for the both of you. but like I said I can see where you'd want the ring back. pay off loans with how much you got back for it. but like I said also, I feel like if you bought it for me, then it's mine. and I personally feel like a ring would feel like a gift. but that's just my opinion in the subject.

[Ashley]

and also, I'd like to add... if she isn't going to pawn it, or if you weren't going to pawn it, use it for another lady.. you'd let it sit there just like she would. lol.

[popo8]

I hate to be a negative Nancy. and where I AGREE you want the ring back, you shouldn't have let her go with it. I personally feel if Jesse and I were to divorce... the ring was/is mine. because he bought it for ME. not unless he was going to give it back to the store. where if it was resized etc by another store he couldnt take it back to the original store. cause yeah, if she's wearing it around that's awkward... what would be more awkward if Jesse were to give my rings to another woman. and personally it'd be funny. I know popo said same money above in an earlier post... but honestly. if I were to get remarried I wouldn't want his exs ring and the same with another woman. I think the ring holds alot of sentimental value for the both of you. but like I said I can see where you'd want the ring back. pay off loans with how much you got back for it. but like I said also, I feel like if you bought it for me, then it's mine. and I personally feel like a ring would feel like a gift. but that's just my opinion in the subject.

There is a difference... U and jesse are married. however in the situation where people are only engaged the ring is still the property of the person who proposed, and as long as it was not given in conjunction with being a gift for another holiday, it goes back to the proposer if the engagement is broken.

Now i do agree..she never shouldve left with it during the break up.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[Badbird_96]

I'm just gonna stay out of this one.

Edit - on second thought. I have to side with Larry. If we got engaged and we split up I would want the ring and I would take it back for car parts honestly. Being married and everything makes it different but just attached by an engagement then yeah I would.

[zooguy]

because he bought it for ME.

i did buy it for her and that is why i am not making a big stink about a little piece of metal and old compressed coal.


and also, I'd like to add... if she isn't going to pawn it, or if you weren't going to pawn it, use it for another lady.. you'd let it sit there just like she would. lol.


if i did get it back then it goes back to the store where i got it

[CamaroGirl]

Yeah, I have to agree with CamaroGirl here, there's no good reason she needs to keep the ring. She's either going to store it away and never touch it again or she's going to sell it for the cash that is rightfully yours. If she does actually go around wearing it just because she likes it, then uh.. she's definitely an oddball. That'd be pretty a cold-hearted thing to do since, as Brenda said, it carries a sentimental value to it which she'd be completely ignoring to wear it around like that. You can't keep asking her nicely and pussy-footing around for it and expect to get anywhere. Ever heard "nice guys finish last?" It's because if you want something done right, sometimes you just gotta be an asshole and do it. Don't get screwed over cuz you wanna "be nice" to her, she already made the choice to walk out of your life. Take what's yours and don't take no for an answer, then worry about whether or not you'll stay in contact with her. You'll only grow to resent her if you don't get the ring back, whether she keeps talking to you or not.
In a nutshell! Now is not the time to be nice about these things. Especially if there's money involved. Right now feelings are fresh, and they'll be like that for a while. Don't let time pass and forget about it. You will regret it later.


the ring was $2000 so its not like a mega huge amount. but it would be a nice chunk of change to pay off some debit from student loans
Dude 2 large is still a lot. If it's going to help you out, especially if you end up losing your job.
Its time to look out for number one now.

[Blackbird96WS6]

Its time to look out for number one now.

Bingo!

[Ashley]

all I'm saying is that if it were me I just wouldn't care to have it back. if she gave it ba k to me or left it that's fine too. I just feel like it's a 50/50 in some certain things in life and a relationship and that being one of them. I do see and understand how it wasn't given as a gift and it is yours. and for you to not make a big deal about it.( not sarcastic at all ) it takes the bigger person to do what you're doing. maybe she'll realize she doesn't need it and give it back to you soon.
I've never really been through this type of thing. and I can't possibly tell you I know how you feel. cause I don't. lol. but good luck with everything.

[zooguy]

thanks

[meissen]

2 grand is 2 grand. I'd be pissed if I spent 2 grand on a ring and it didn't end in marriage, I'd get it back and sell it to get my money back.

[popo8]

I agree with Meissen.

Grow a pair and take back whats yours.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[zooguy]

well i had another fantastic weekend (tuesday and wednesday) with my friends from college and a girl from high school. we had a college class together and i developed a crush for her. and it turns out she had/has a crush on me too.

any ways i came home and found a box addressed to me


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfMDAKhU3Tw&feature=share&list=UUV-rKBijN1gKcfz8AhNL37A

i get paid soon and i will be getting an account for the xbox live, controller, and hard drive. then time to get some gaming going on.

[bluebird94]

I would absolutely not give the ring back if the man I loved asked me to marry him then all the sudden changed his mind and dumped me. That's not too hard to fathom, right? I'd be pissed, prolly hock it, and buy something that wouldn't make me think of him ever again.

Ring's hers, better let that one go

[popo8]

I would absolutely not give the ring back if the man I loved asked me to marry him then all the sudden changed his mind and dumped me. That's not too hard to fathom, right? I'd be pissed, prolly hock it, and buy something that wouldn't make me think of him ever again.

Ring's hers, better let that one go

Thats exactly why the law is in our favor...so we can sue...and win.


Larry (Popo8) Co-owner
LTXtech.com

[meissen]

I would absolutely not give the ring back if the man I loved asked me to marry him then all the sudden changed his mind and dumped me. That's not too hard to fathom, right? I'd be pissed, prolly hock it, and buy something that wouldn't make me think of him ever again.

Ring's hers, better let that one go

You may think the ring is hers but the law would side with him if he took her to claims court to get the ring back. Unless it was given as a gift (around Christmas, her birthday, etc) then she has no claim to keep the ring.

[Chris]

Im bad with advice so I have just been reading as of late. But I am still on that MW3 racket, feel free to add me. BigPapiGroh.

[bluebird94]

law depends on the state. I actually don't know what it is for Oklahoma although my mom worked as a paralegal for 15 years and she said in every case she saw, the woman won the ring as it was considered a gift.

In Texas (last I heard) the one who gets dumped keeps the ring. Which makes sense to me.

[popo8]

law depends on the state. I actually don't know what it is for Oklahoma although my mom worked as a paralegal for 15 years and she said in every case she saw, the woman won the ring as it was considered a gift.

In Texas (last I heard) the one who gets dumped keeps the ring. Which makes sense to me.

You are correct... did does have to do with the state...

Example, MASS LAW

De Cicco v. Barker (http://masscases.com/cases/sjc/339/339mass457.html), 339 Mass. 457 (1959). "It is generally held that an engagement ring is in the nature of a pledge, given on the implied condition that the marriage shall take place. If the contract to marry is terminated without fault on the part of the donor he may recover the ring."

Yet:
Law trumps etiquette



Engagement rings fall under property, contract or family law, and how they are treated varies by state.
In California, it depends on who broke the engagement. For example, if the person who received the ring is the one who is reneging on the engagement, then that person must relinquish the jewelry.

In New York, North Carolina, Minnesota, Tennessee and other states, appellate courts say engagement rings are conditional gifts that must be returned to the gift giver if the condition -- namely, the marriage -- does not take place, regardless of who broke off the engagement.


Oklahoma, has no cases on file governing engagement rings, so guidance would have to be drawn from nearby states, says family law specialist at Atkins & Markoff in Oklahoma City. Texas, she says, takes circumstances into account.

Who gets the ring also depends on when it is given. Most courts have found that giving an engagement ring on a birthday or a holiday, such as Christmas or Valentine's Day, makes the ring a simple gift.
But many people go with what feels right.
Conventional wisdom has it that a woman should return the ring if she cancels the wedding. Etiquette says a ring always should be returned when the engagement is broken.


Im no paralegal, but here are some quick exerps I was able to find....

[zooguy]

okay guys and gals ENOUGH WITH THE RING BUSINESS !!!!!!

[zooguy]

i am man enough to admit that i fucked up and proposed for the wrong reasons. i thought it would make us closer and bring back the closeness that i missed so badly

i could give two shits about what the laws say or dont say.

i gave her the ring.

yes it would be nice to have back an item i am going to be paying $78 every paycheck from the next year but that is my loss and i dont care
i should have broke up with kim a long time ago cause there were signs that it was not working out. i ignored the signs cause i really cared about her.
me going after the damn ring is just going to make things harder than they already are. i just want it to be done and over with ...

so i am begging ALL of you
please stop talking about the ring, i gave it to her and she can do what she wants with it.








one more thing and this is directed to popo8 if there is any more talk about "oh sack up and get the ring back" bullshit i want to have the thread in full deleted you got that.



:frustrated::angryfire:

[popo8]

...






one more thing and this is directed to popo8 if there is any more talk about "oh sack up and get the ring back" bullshit i want to have the thread in full deleted you got that.



:frustrated::angryfire:

Excuse Me?

[zooguy]

if people keep this back and forth thing about the ring going i want this thread gone ... its EXTREMELY painful to me and i dont want to keep hurting.

[zooguy]

i know that i can get the ring back but i dont want to TAKE IT BACK ... i am not kind of person but i will admit that i was in the wrong and now i am paying the price so to speak

[firebird_1995]

I'm pretty sure everyone is just trying to help and rally behind you.

[zooguy]

i know you guys and gals are ... and i do thank you for the support ... today is just a hard day and i am totally over the the ring issue

[zooguy]

today was a much better day ... i got some work done on a vivarium i am making and i am happy with the progress i made. i also got the radio working on the little saturn i got from a work friend. it sucks having a dd car and no radio in it. AND today i got a 60gig hard drive for the xbox 360, a controler, and a wifi antenna. so now all i need to do is get an account and i can play online.

for anyone who got offended by my comments yesterday i am sorry... yesterday was a hard/bad day for me and i was up set about some things ... there was a small chance that i was going to go to work last night and lose my job and i knew about it. that had been bothering me all week on my days off (tues, wedn, thur) thank fully they decided to give a hard verbal warning and leave it at that. i could still lose my flight privileges for a year so we will see how that pans out.

the last week has had a bunch of highs and lows and i feel spent ...

i met up with a girl i knew back in highschool and i knew she liked me in college. so we might be getting together. so that is exciting.
then i found out some one posted one of my buddy passes on ebay for sell (they have no value in money) so that almost cost me my job.
so i am just tired and yesterday i lashed out a little.
i know you are all trying to support me and help me out and have done a bunch already so i thank you very very much.

[zooguy]

up date:

i have had a couple of good days in a row so that is a good thing. yesterday i got a call back about the job of a life time. i passed the phone screening portion of a job for becoming a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines. that is a good thing cause i will have a pay increase by a good amount and i will get to see lots of places.

with the buddy pass situation they decided to take no action which is good cause that wont mess up me wanting to change positions. i still need to find out who posted the pass cause i could have lost my job over this.

any ways things have been going better so thanks guys and gals for all your support and listening to me while i have hard times.

[ZGOBYBY]

Good to hear Troy... see, things are looking up for you. Keep on the straight and narrow and life will work things out for you.

[zooguy]

today is one month after the break up and i am doing a bunch better ... i still have times where i miss her but i am getting over that . its crazy how much things can change in a months time ... but things a much better in my life and with me so i can not wait till next month ... i assume the 14 of feb. will be hard but i will make it


http://ltxtech.com/forums/images/styles/ltx/misc/quote_icon.png Originally Posted by CamaroGirl http://ltxtech.com/forums/images/styles/ltx/buttons/viewpost-right.png (http://ltxtech.com/forums/showthread.php?p=269836#post269836)
YOU hold the key to your happiness. Life is too short to cheat yourself out of TRUE love and happiness.

i thank all for every thing you have helped me through and i do feel like part a very close family. thank you each and every one of you

[Badbird_96]

I'm glad things are turning up for you. Here's hoping the trend continues. :thumbup: