Basically I need to vent

[Phstratton]

First off, I want to say if you're going to bash me for posting this here then just keep your mouth shut. I would post it on my facebook or talk to my friends but the problem is that I've been told I can't say anything about the house they're going to try to by because they don't want anyone to bid against them.

So...After 3 years of having our house on the market my parents finally sold it. First off, I love this house quite a bit simply because it was a nice house and it wasn't that far from school or town, but at the same time it wasn't right in the city. I love that I can hear Beech Bend (the local raceway) from my house. Well, they're wanting to buy back our old house that is going up for auction because the people that bought it from us went bankrupt. The problem is that the house is about an hour, hour and half away from school and town. Not only is that going to be incredibly hard on my car and my wallet, but it's also going to place me that much farther away from my friends. If I get halfway to school and realize I forgot a book or my homework, I'm fucked. Where as now I can run back and still make it there on time because I usually leave 15 minutes early. I guess I understand why the want the old house back (Because it was my great grandparent's house), but at the same time my grandpa reserved us land next to him and my grandma and, my aunt and uncle only 15mins away. I've told them how I felt about it and they're doing it anyway because quote "I won't be around forever", but at the same time I had every intention of staying until my student loans were paid off or I got married so at least 3 or 4 more years...I'm not going to argue with them, but I've decided if they go through with it, then I will have to move out. I can honestly say I can afford living on my own more than driving that much every day.

/rant

[Fixxer99TA]

I dont think anyone would bash for posting this here. I hope not.

Tough situation, sounds like your the one whos going to have to deal (the whole commute/expense, putting you out ect..). Doesnt sound like theres a whole lot you can do though. So how much longer would you have to do this long commute before you are done?

[Fastbird]

I don't see anything bash worthy in that post, but I will say this. Your parents are right. You're not going to be around (I.E. living with them) forever. They've raised you, and they want to move on with their lives. You honestly can't expect them to base what they want off of your wants and wishes anymore. If it doesn't work for you where they're moving, you have to man up and get your own place that's conducive to you, not expect them to put off their plans for your own wants and perceived needs. It's just a part of life and coming into your own.

And I say this as someone who's been there, and eventually had to tell my parents the dreaded "you were right" phrase.

[SoulReaver]

Well I don't agree with that at all. I know if I had kids, I would continue to keep them in my best interests. I mean, that's kind of a shitty thing to say to your kid. No offense to your parents at all. "You won't be here forever", like is there a fucking countdown or something?

If I was a parent, and was in this situation, I think I would try to be close to my kids, or want them to want to come home. Not the opposite. I know my parents trust my opinion on things, and I know if they were buying a house, they would ask my opinion and value it.

[5POINT7]

IMO you should be thankful (I'm sure you are) that they are allowing you to stay there, during school etc. Imagine if you were trying to go to school, live on your own, and all the bills that come with it. It would be hard, and probably impossible. I would just stick it out until school is over. Driving an hour to school is a lot better than the rent, bills, etc. when on your own. I think the "you wont be around forever" comment means that, they think, after school you'll probably want to be on your own, and not be at home when your 40. I'm in no way bashing you, I understand your frustration, just trying to look at the positives, in being there.

[1963SS]

My 27 year old son lives with me (again) after spending 6 years in the Navy as a corpsman stationed with the Marines. He is going to college full time and as far as I'm concerned that is the only job that I want him to have. I'm paying his insurance, I bought him a 2000 Formula, food and all the other stuff that a parent should be doing. I live 30 miles from his school and he has never said anything about how far he has to travel. He really appreciates what I do for him. Once you forget a book a time or two I think you may start double checking things before you leave. I'm sorry but although there is no countdown, you will not be here forever but you'll be welcome to stay until you retire. I'm going to have to side with Mom and Dad on this one. They've worked hard to get where they are and deserve to do what they feel is best. You are, after all, just along for the ride.

I understand that the option would be to live on your own and that would be a pain while going to school full time. Your life would be a lot more difficult if you had to get a job, support yourself and go to school. That would be tough but many people do work their way through school. I don't mean to bash anyone (not my style) but your folks have to live their lives also. I do feel the pain of leaving your friends (been there, done that) but you can make it work. Good luck.

[Phstratton]

I still have another year of college, but I was planning on staying until I had a good job, some money saved up, and my student loans were paid off.

[Phstratton]

I don't see anything bash worthy in that post, but I will say this. Your parents are right. You're not going to be around (I.E. living with them) forever. They've raised you, and they want to move on with their lives. You honestly can't expect them to base what they want off of your wants and wishes anymore. If it doesn't work for you where they're moving, you have to man up and get your own place that's conducive to you, not expect them to put off their plans for your own wants and perceived needs. It's just a part of life and coming into your own.

And I say this as someone who's been there, and eventually had to tell my parents the dreaded "you were right" phrase.

But my mom and dad constantly talk about how they want me to stay with them for as long as I want.

[Fastbird]

But my mom and dad constantly talk about how they want me to stay with them for as long as I want.

If that's the case, then they're being a bit hypocritical then.

[Fixxer99TA]

If that's the case, then they're being a bit hypocritical then.

Yeah I really didnt want to say it, but its pretty much true.

Sounds like my father to be honest. Tells you one thing like "I will help you" or "you are in my best interest" but its really one of those lies to make you think he cares, but his actions show he doesnt give two shits at all. Dont say you will be there to help, if all its going to be is a grudge match when you do. Ill take care of it myself at that point.

[AChotrod]

your lucky my pops said Im getting remarried and moving in 2 weeks, get your own place cause your not coming with me.

[Phstratton]

Lol, yeah I guess it could be worse.

[Camaro_94]

I don't see anything bash worthy in that post, but I will say this. Your parents are right. You're not going to be around (I.E. living with them) forever. They've raised you, and they want to move on with their lives. You honestly can't expect them to base what they want off of your wants and wishes anymore. If it doesn't work for you where they're moving, you have to man up and get your own place that's conducive to you, not expect them to put off their plans for your own wants and perceived needs. It's just a part of life and coming into your own.

And I say this as someone who's been there, and eventually had to tell my parents the dreaded "you were right" phrase.


Well said. I agree 100%. My parents arent planning on moving (from what I know of at least) but they basically laid down the guidelines for me. As long as I'm in college, I can still live at home. If I drop out or dont finish getting my degree, I'm on my own.

I wouldnt want them to base their lives around me. If they want to move to Florida, I honestly would want them to go. Why? Because I have plans of my own and I dont want to skrew up theirs. I'm 19 and am legally an adult. I think it would be very selfish of me (or anyone) to expect your parents to live their lives around their child who is legally an adult.

Thats just my $.02. Good luck and I wish you the best, but do whatever it is you feel you need to do.

[KissMyWhtSS]

IMO you should be thankful (I'm sure you are) that they are allowing you to stay there, during school etc. Imagine if you were trying to go to school, live on your own, and all the bills that come with it. It would be hard, and probably impossible. I would just stick it out until school is over. Driving an hour to school is a lot better than the rent, bills, etc. when on your own. I think the "you wont be around forever" comment means that, they think, after school you'll probably want to be on your own, and not be at home when your 40. I'm in no way bashing you, I understand your frustration, just trying to look at the positives, in being there.
Werd. I'm at school around 2 hours from home and visit my friends and family back home about once a month during the school year. Commute the rest of the semester then look for an apartment next semester. Think of this as a great way to gain some independence.

That is, if that's what you want to do. You could always commute, or transfer to a school closer to their new house. Be glad they are willing to put a roof over your head.

[Tarheel'Z']

your lucky my pops said Im getting remarried and moving in 2 weeks, get your own place cause your not coming with me.

mikie are we brothers from a different mother?man i can relate,,except mine was me coming over the hill to see a moving truck leaving what was my house and looking at my buddy and saying can i sleep on the couch for a bit?1 year later i moved myself back to my hometown and never looked back,,i was only 16,,wouldnt have change a thing either,,looking back now i think it made me a strong person and i have a great appreciation for what i have now..guess my point with all this is this could be your so called crossroads,,turn right or left instead of going straight and dont look back

[AChotrod]

100% Agreed. My family had worries while I was growing up but couldnt be prouder of me now, and Im back in my hometown too!!
Cool part he left right away and we had the house to ourselves (me and my bro) for 2 weeks!!! PARTY!!!!!